"I've been experiencing logistics suffocation torture (LST) for a few weeks now. This is where you know that you are supposed to be making some plans and getting a bunch of crap figured out in the very near future so your brain is in a constant state of attempting to resolve every single geographical and scheduling conflicts that could ever exist." - It Just Gets Stranger
That is a direct quote from a blog post that I just read. And I don't think I've ever understood something so well. Because, Eli is getting ready to move to the United States after living in a tropical island country for a year now. He's going through all of this stress and he has a huge list of things that he needs to accomplish before he can actually move.
That's where I'm at, right now. I don't know if LST is a real thing or not, but I'm definitely experiencing something like it. I have so much stuff to do. It's completely overwhelming, and it kind of makes me not want to do any of it. Kind of like those memes that say "That moment when you have so much stuff to do that you just decided to take a nap". I want to take a nap...but I'm having trouble sleeping because I have so much to do. Life is a vicious cycle.
I've got so much hanging over my head right now. I have $450 more a month to come up with so that I'll be meeting the bare minimum of what I need to live. I've got to finish buying stuff for my apartment. I've got all these loose ends that are in the process of coming together, but just haven't quite made it yet. And it's killing me. Because a lot of them aren't in my hands anymore. For instance, I got my passport...ordered it or whatever, but I'm just waiting and hoping that it's gonna get here by the time I need to leave. I've got luggage coming that I ordered offline, and I can't pack until it gets here. Stuff like that.
I've got a follow up letter to write to people who have told me that they'll give me money every month, but I don't know how they're supposed to send it to me yet. All of these things are all tangled together. My life kind of feels like a big bowl of spaghetti right now that I'm trying to pull one noodle out at a time. If anyone has ever been successful with this, help a sister out, k?
I'm just ready to pull past all this stressfulness and really get to enjoy it. Because I'm 100% sure that, while this adventure will be rocky, and I may not always love every part of it, it's going to be something that I'm going to enjoy. Because God wants me to do this, and I know that God's plans for me are beyond my wildest dreams.
All in all, I'm stressed, but hopeful.
