"I've been experiencing logistics suffocation torture (LST) for a few weeks now. This is where you know that you are supposed to be making some plans and getting a bunch of crap figured out in the very near future so your brain is in a constant state of attempting to resolve every single geographical and scheduling conflicts that could ever exist." - It Just Gets Stranger
That is a direct quote from a blog post that I just read. And I don't think I've ever understood something so well. Because, Eli is getting ready to move to the United States after living in a tropical island country for a year now. He's going through all of this stress and he has a huge list of things that he needs to accomplish before he can actually move.
That's where I'm at, right now. I don't know if LST is a real thing or not, but I'm definitely experiencing something like it. I have so much stuff to do. It's completely overwhelming, and it kind of makes me not want to do any of it. Kind of like those memes that say "That moment when you have so much stuff to do that you just decided to take a nap". I want to take a nap...but I'm having trouble sleeping because I have so much to do. Life is a vicious cycle.
I've got so much hanging over my head right now. I have $450 more a month to come up with so that I'll be meeting the bare minimum of what I need to live. I've got to finish buying stuff for my apartment. I've got all these loose ends that are in the process of coming together, but just haven't quite made it yet. And it's killing me. Because a lot of them aren't in my hands anymore. For instance, I got my passport...ordered it or whatever, but I'm just waiting and hoping that it's gonna get here by the time I need to leave. I've got luggage coming that I ordered offline, and I can't pack until it gets here. Stuff like that.
I've got a follow up letter to write to people who have told me that they'll give me money every month, but I don't know how they're supposed to send it to me yet. All of these things are all tangled together. My life kind of feels like a big bowl of spaghetti right now that I'm trying to pull one noodle out at a time. If anyone has ever been successful with this, help a sister out, k?
I'm just ready to pull past all this stressfulness and really get to enjoy it. Because I'm 100% sure that, while this adventure will be rocky, and I may not always love every part of it, it's going to be something that I'm going to enjoy. Because God wants me to do this, and I know that God's plans for me are beyond my wildest dreams.
All in all, I'm stressed, but hopeful.
Showing posts with label determined. Show all posts
Showing posts with label determined. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
living in fast forward.
Oh man. The last couple weeks have been so busy and I know the next couple aren't gonna be any different. That's okay, though. I like it better this way. Several interesting and exciting things have happened.
I went to church camp! I've been going to church camp since I was in the fourth grade, which is the youngest you can start at our church. I've never missed a year and it's always been one of my favorite parts about summer. This was my last year as a camper, and I probably won't get the chance to be a counselor for awhile, so it was bittersweet. But, overall, it was a fun week and I got tons closer to people that I was just kind of friends with before. One of the saddest parts about church camp was the last day, when I had to say bye to A-Pot for a whole five weeks! It's gonna kill me to have the sole other member of team cra missing for that long. ;)
When I got home from church camp, my mom was waiting with a huge bomb...we're moving. She had kind of hinted at that for awhile, but I really didn't want it to be true. You see, this is the last house that's going to be my house with my mom. And it's been a really good house. I've loved living here a lot, and I know she and Gabe have as well. So, anyway, it's all happened so fast. We're moving in a week. A week. It feels weird to know that when I pack up all the stuff in my room it's not gonna have another home until August. Maybe not even then, I'm sure there's some stuff that I won't be taking that will just be sitting in storage. It's gonna be an emotional experience for sure.
So, we've been working on packing, but also I've had 2 yard sales so far. I was initially planning on only having one big one, but as more and more people brought me stuff I knew there was no way that I was gonna be able to store it all...I guess it's my fault for having generous friends. ;) I've made quite a bit of money that way so far, but I still definitely have more to sell. I'll have maybe one more sale this summer, and then leave the rest of the stuff for my mom to have another sell with more of her stuff later on in the fall or something. There's so much that I'm sure there'll be some left over. I'm just excited for the look on the people who help us move face's when we open up our garage to load up. That'll be funny.
In the midst of all this packing and organizing, I got asked to baby sit every day this week. 9am-2pm. It's a good thing, I know. I'll be making money which will be nice but it just adds to me level of stress knowing that I'm gonna baby sit all day, which wears me out, and then come home and have huge tasks to do because our house has to go from completely unpacked and home like to a bunch of boxes in a matter of a week. It's frustrating, since I don't want to move to begin with, and now I have to stress about it. I know, it's a bad attitude, and I'm trying to make it better, I'm just bummed.
Everything will be alright, though. God has us in his hands and everything works out when we're using His timing. And I know both my mom and I have been praying for God to take care of this, so I know He is.
Finally, I'm still just waiting to hear back about my AIM application...I hate waiting and they notoriously take forever. I suppose I'll just have to wait on God's timing for this as well. So there's that.
It's 1:43 am so I'd probably better get to bed since I have to chase after two crazy kids tomorrow.
I went to church camp! I've been going to church camp since I was in the fourth grade, which is the youngest you can start at our church. I've never missed a year and it's always been one of my favorite parts about summer. This was my last year as a camper, and I probably won't get the chance to be a counselor for awhile, so it was bittersweet. But, overall, it was a fun week and I got tons closer to people that I was just kind of friends with before. One of the saddest parts about church camp was the last day, when I had to say bye to A-Pot for a whole five weeks! It's gonna kill me to have the sole other member of team cra missing for that long. ;)
When I got home from church camp, my mom was waiting with a huge bomb...we're moving. She had kind of hinted at that for awhile, but I really didn't want it to be true. You see, this is the last house that's going to be my house with my mom. And it's been a really good house. I've loved living here a lot, and I know she and Gabe have as well. So, anyway, it's all happened so fast. We're moving in a week. A week. It feels weird to know that when I pack up all the stuff in my room it's not gonna have another home until August. Maybe not even then, I'm sure there's some stuff that I won't be taking that will just be sitting in storage. It's gonna be an emotional experience for sure.
So, we've been working on packing, but also I've had 2 yard sales so far. I was initially planning on only having one big one, but as more and more people brought me stuff I knew there was no way that I was gonna be able to store it all...I guess it's my fault for having generous friends. ;) I've made quite a bit of money that way so far, but I still definitely have more to sell. I'll have maybe one more sale this summer, and then leave the rest of the stuff for my mom to have another sell with more of her stuff later on in the fall or something. There's so much that I'm sure there'll be some left over. I'm just excited for the look on the people who help us move face's when we open up our garage to load up. That'll be funny.
In the midst of all this packing and organizing, I got asked to baby sit every day this week. 9am-2pm. It's a good thing, I know. I'll be making money which will be nice but it just adds to me level of stress knowing that I'm gonna baby sit all day, which wears me out, and then come home and have huge tasks to do because our house has to go from completely unpacked and home like to a bunch of boxes in a matter of a week. It's frustrating, since I don't want to move to begin with, and now I have to stress about it. I know, it's a bad attitude, and I'm trying to make it better, I'm just bummed.
Everything will be alright, though. God has us in his hands and everything works out when we're using His timing. And I know both my mom and I have been praying for God to take care of this, so I know He is.
Finally, I'm still just waiting to hear back about my AIM application...I hate waiting and they notoriously take forever. I suppose I'll just have to wait on God's timing for this as well. So there's that.
It's 1:43 am so I'd probably better get to bed since I have to chase after two crazy kids tomorrow.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Raising Support Has Kicked My Butt.
Oh my y'all. I've spent the last four days completely and totally focused on my support letters. Even though I haven't technically been accepted to AIM yet, I am fairly certain that I will be, so I'm just gonna go ahead and raise support. I've decided to do several different things to work toward this goal.
For one, I decided that I'm gonna have a yard sale. I sent an email out to people that go to my church asking for donations, and my garage is already full! It really makes me so happy. I know that more people are planning to donate some stuff, too. God is bringing things together so well. I just am loving this whole experience right now.
Then, I decided that I'm gonna have a car wash, and ask the youth group to help me. The band has done this for a lot of years, and we always make quite a bit of money, so I'm hoping it will work out well. You know, a "free" yard sales where you ask for donations. I think it'd be really awesome to do that, and so I'm gonna try and see if I can raise some money that way.
Another thing I'm going is trying to find odd jobs to do. Someone asked me the other day if I was working this summer. I told them no, because I don't have an actual "job." But I did tell them that I plan on doing any kind of work that anyone will let me do. Yard work, cleaning out their attic, babysitting. Whatever it is, I'm willing to do it. I need money, and if someone is kind enough to offer me an opportunity to make some money, then I'm totally gonna take it.
Anyway, the support letter process has been tedious. It was a long process with several steps. First I had to write the actual letter. Then, I had to gather up all the addresses that I wanted to use (this was fairly easy because our church has a directory, and I also just sent out graduation invitations, so I had all my familie's addresses in one place). Then I addressed all the envelopes, all 150 of them. It bout killed my wrist. Then, I made tons and tons of copies. Potter was nice enough to let me use their copy machine and paper, which saved me tons of money. Then, I signed all the letters and put them all into their envelopes. This morning I went to the post office and dropped $115 on stamps. Who knew stamps were so stinking expensve?! I sure didn't. But, at least my mom was willing to pay for them and I didn't have to. Now they're all finished and I couldn't be more relieved,
It's not like the work is over, though. In fact, the work is still beginning. I'm gonna have to make calls, and then organize the yard sale, and the car wash. I'm really grateful for a couple things, though. I'm grateful to my mother for putting off everything that she had on her to-do list to help me do all of this. She's the most wonderful, supporting mother. God really knew what he was doing when He made her my mother, and that's something that I'll thank Him for every day for as long as I live.
I'm also really grateful for the wonderful, supporting church family that is really backing me up on all of this. I didn't really know what a lot of them would think about all of this, but it's something that has been a pleasant surprise. I know for sure that I don't deserve them, and all the love they've given me. But I'll always love Alvaton and hold them dearly in my heart.
Anyway, I have to finish packing for church camp, which I know is going to be an experience. Last year it wasn't so awesome, but I'm trying to keep an open mind with this, so we'll all just wait and pray that it goes well. Goodnight and good luck. ;)
For one, I decided that I'm gonna have a yard sale. I sent an email out to people that go to my church asking for donations, and my garage is already full! It really makes me so happy. I know that more people are planning to donate some stuff, too. God is bringing things together so well. I just am loving this whole experience right now.
Then, I decided that I'm gonna have a car wash, and ask the youth group to help me. The band has done this for a lot of years, and we always make quite a bit of money, so I'm hoping it will work out well. You know, a "free" yard sales where you ask for donations. I think it'd be really awesome to do that, and so I'm gonna try and see if I can raise some money that way.
Another thing I'm going is trying to find odd jobs to do. Someone asked me the other day if I was working this summer. I told them no, because I don't have an actual "job." But I did tell them that I plan on doing any kind of work that anyone will let me do. Yard work, cleaning out their attic, babysitting. Whatever it is, I'm willing to do it. I need money, and if someone is kind enough to offer me an opportunity to make some money, then I'm totally gonna take it.
Anyway, the support letter process has been tedious. It was a long process with several steps. First I had to write the actual letter. Then, I had to gather up all the addresses that I wanted to use (this was fairly easy because our church has a directory, and I also just sent out graduation invitations, so I had all my familie's addresses in one place). Then I addressed all the envelopes, all 150 of them. It bout killed my wrist. Then, I made tons and tons of copies. Potter was nice enough to let me use their copy machine and paper, which saved me tons of money. Then, I signed all the letters and put them all into their envelopes. This morning I went to the post office and dropped $115 on stamps. Who knew stamps were so stinking expensve?! I sure didn't. But, at least my mom was willing to pay for them and I didn't have to. Now they're all finished and I couldn't be more relieved,
It's not like the work is over, though. In fact, the work is still beginning. I'm gonna have to make calls, and then organize the yard sale, and the car wash. I'm really grateful for a couple things, though. I'm grateful to my mother for putting off everything that she had on her to-do list to help me do all of this. She's the most wonderful, supporting mother. God really knew what he was doing when He made her my mother, and that's something that I'll thank Him for every day for as long as I live.
I'm also really grateful for the wonderful, supporting church family that is really backing me up on all of this. I didn't really know what a lot of them would think about all of this, but it's something that has been a pleasant surprise. I know for sure that I don't deserve them, and all the love they've given me. But I'll always love Alvaton and hold them dearly in my heart.
Anyway, I have to finish packing for church camp, which I know is going to be an experience. Last year it wasn't so awesome, but I'm trying to keep an open mind with this, so we'll all just wait and pray that it goes well. Goodnight and good luck. ;)
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
One bite at a time...
Stressful. That's the word I would use to describe my life of late. I literally have SO much to do. This is a list of the biggest things that are hanging over me.
I suppose for the next month I'm just gonna have to remind myself of 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." I need to fight this "fight" that is the last month of high school and all the "senioritis" that comes with it. I need to finish this race, that I'm now seeing as a marathon rather than a sprint, and I need to keep my faith. I'm gonna keep my faith in God, and my faith in my family and friends while they support me. I know I can do this, if I just put in the effort. I'm the litle engine that could... "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."
In other news, I've got a senior banquet this Saturday night at church. It's gonna be so fun. We have dinner, cake, there's a slideshow of all my baby pictures, my mom gives me a "blessing" and best of all we get gifts! I know that shouldn't be what I'm most excited about, but, if we're being honest, I'm pretty pumped about that...the gifts are always really good...so yeah. I'm also really excited about the blessing that my mom is supposed to give. I know they're called blessings, but they basically always turn into a speech about how awesome that person's kid is. And I'm pretty awesome, so my mom shouldn't have any trouble coming up with a speech for me. ;) Just kidding, but really, I'm excited to see what she really thinks of me. Something that has been really stressful with all of that, though, is that my family cannot come. Like, basically it's just gonna be my mom, brother, and I. And, as much as I love them, it breaks my heart that none of them can be there. My family is so divided sometimes that it breaks me up inside. That's the biggest reason that, even if I do get a divorce someday (which I'm absolutely determinded not to let happen!) I'll make sure it's one where both families are friendly and can be around each other...you know, for our kids. Because separated familys really stink, I can tell you that much...
Alright, enough rambling about how stressful my life is...I'm gonna get to work now eating this elephant...one bite at a time. ;)
- Find a job
- My AIM application
- NOT fail physics
- Write a ten page paper
- Graduate high school
I suppose for the next month I'm just gonna have to remind myself of 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." I need to fight this "fight" that is the last month of high school and all the "senioritis" that comes with it. I need to finish this race, that I'm now seeing as a marathon rather than a sprint, and I need to keep my faith. I'm gonna keep my faith in God, and my faith in my family and friends while they support me. I know I can do this, if I just put in the effort. I'm the litle engine that could... "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."
In other news, I've got a senior banquet this Saturday night at church. It's gonna be so fun. We have dinner, cake, there's a slideshow of all my baby pictures, my mom gives me a "blessing" and best of all we get gifts! I know that shouldn't be what I'm most excited about, but, if we're being honest, I'm pretty pumped about that...the gifts are always really good...so yeah. I'm also really excited about the blessing that my mom is supposed to give. I know they're called blessings, but they basically always turn into a speech about how awesome that person's kid is. And I'm pretty awesome, so my mom shouldn't have any trouble coming up with a speech for me. ;) Just kidding, but really, I'm excited to see what she really thinks of me. Something that has been really stressful with all of that, though, is that my family cannot come. Like, basically it's just gonna be my mom, brother, and I. And, as much as I love them, it breaks my heart that none of them can be there. My family is so divided sometimes that it breaks me up inside. That's the biggest reason that, even if I do get a divorce someday (which I'm absolutely determinded not to let happen!) I'll make sure it's one where both families are friendly and can be around each other...you know, for our kids. Because separated familys really stink, I can tell you that much...
Alright, enough rambling about how stressful my life is...I'm gonna get to work now eating this elephant...one bite at a time. ;)
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