So, here we are. Over a month later, and it's still the same. We don't have any answers. We still don't know where we're going, or who we're going with. And, due to the fact that I told everyone I'd know by Christmas time, people are starting to ask questions more.
These questions frustrate me. Because they're just more constant reminders that I'm feeling out of control, or that I'm freaked out because I have no idea where I'll be spending the next 2 years of my life, or who I'll be spending it with. I wish so much that I could give everyone who's wondering the answers that they deserve. They're giving me money, prayers, and time, and I can't even tell them what they'll be paying for? I know it's silly to feel this way. The waiting was part of what I signed up for when I came to AIM. I knew this was going to happen, but I still somehow wasn't prepared for it.
I can't pinpoint an exact time when I stopped feeling solely excited and started to get...antsy. Peyton keeps telling me that it'll be here before I know it...and I want to believe her. I mean, she just went through all of this last year, so she remembers what it's like...but I just can't help but wonder, in my more desperate moments of impatience, if I'm ever going to find out. If all of the questions inside my head are ever going to be settled. I know that this is completely illogical, and that of course I'll know the answers to all these questions at some point, probably in the very near future.
I guess I'm just ready. I'm ready to not be waiting around for the inevitable. I'm ready for all the changes that are going to happen to just start happening already. I'm ready to finally be able to answer people's questions. I'm just ready to get this show on the road.
Like I said from the very beginning, this part of AIM has really been testing my patience, and my attitude. I've been having to work really hard to keep both of those in check.
We're in the home stretch, though, I know. Therefore, it's easier(ish) to keep my mind clear and focused on school rather than all this other stuff that's going on.
Anyway, this post has been all over the place, but I wanted to tell everyone how things were going and how ready I am to have the answers I've been waiting and praying for so hard.
So, if you'll keep praying with me, and waiting just a little bit longer, I'll finally have answers and I'll be able to tell everyone what they want to know! YAY!
Here we gooooo....
