Ask Me Why I Love My Church...

I recently bought a t shirt that says "Ask Me Why I Love My Church" on it, with the words Alvaton Church of Christ printed underneath it. I'm so excited to get this shirt in the mail and to wear it, and hopefully someone will ask me, so that I can tell them all about the church family God has blessed me with, and the reasons that I love them all so dearly. So, since I've been all about making lists and talking about things I love on my blog, I think I'd like to try and do it differently this time…but hey, it may still turn out the same…we'll see.

Let me start off by saying that I'm so proud to call myself a part of the Alvaton family. Especially being far away form them, and seeing what they do from the outside, and looking at other churches. I'm so proud of the way they're constantly reaching out to the Alvaton community. I'm proud of the way they accept visitors, and the way they just love people.

I haven't had a life that's been super easy for me. I don't want to give a whole sob story, but I do struggle with depression and other things, and also circumstantial things that have happened that have been really hard on me. And I've struggled with feeling like neither of my parents loved me or were really there for me…and it caused me to end up replacing that position in my life. (Now, my relationships with both of them are much better, and I don't feel that way anymore…I'm not trying to embarrass them by saying all that, just trying to be honest.) There are so many people at Alvaton who I feel like have had an equal part in raising me that my parents did, even though some of them didn't even come into my life until I was older.

When my life was in shambles, or I felt like the world was falling down around me, it was scary. Nothing felt consistent, it didn't feel like I could really count on anything…but I look back and realize how tightly I was clinging to my family at Alvaton. Even when it didn't seem like it, because I was always angry, or didn't really want to talk to people, I was holding on with all my might. Alvaton is the place, and the people, who have always been consistenly there for me.

I'm grateful to have been blessed with a youth group full of people who became my best friends, and ultimately, the only friends I knew I could count on all throughout high school. I was blessed to be part of a group that never shied away from topics that would generally make you a little (or a lot) uncomfortable. I'm someone who doesn't find much of anything an awkward topic. Things just don't make me feel weird, or uncomfortable. And I never felt like, when we were at youth group stuff, people judged me for that, as I feel they do now sometimes. I guess going through Dateable with your youth minister makes everything seem less awkward by comparison. I love it, though! (Funny story about Dateable-- it's a book about dating, and so of course it's going to cover sexual sin…so from the beginning Ryan warned us that we were going to have a "sex talk" at some point. So, I had some friends in marching band with me that I'd been trying to work on, and get to come to church with me. And then finally, one Thursday night, I convinced them to come to TNT with me. Well, we get there, and Ryan announces that it's the night we're going to have our talk. I was really afraid that they were gonna think it was super uncomfortable and never come back again. But they didn't. They ended up loving it, and coming back to TNT with me every Thursday night. My youth minister is cool enough to not make people feel awkward about sex…)

I'm so thankful for the supporters I have at Alvaton. When I started trying to raise support, I was shocked by how generous people were. It was like, anything someone could do, they wanted to do it. People gave me money, they gave me TONS of stuff to sell in a yard sale, I was surprised by how much people just gave to me. And even when people can't support me through money, they still gave whatever they could to me. I received so much love from people, and people were praying for me all the time, because they keep telling me that they are and giving me encouragement. I appreciated it so much, the things that they did for me. It's humbling. Because, as hard as I try, it's hard not for me to think of myself as a "missionary" with a little tinge of pride. But to have so many people supporting me, praying for me, loving me…it makes me feel so humble, and gives me even more of a drive to succeed.

Over all, I’m so proud to be a member of the body of God loving Christians at Alvaton, and I don't think I'll ever stop being proud of them, or claiming them as my own. No matte where else I go in life.

I think that's what I'm most grateful for…knowing that I'll always have a place to go back to where I'll be welcome, no matter how far away I move, or whatever I end up deciding to go with my life  after AIM…they'll always accept me and love me just as much as they do now, and I'll always feel the same about them.

If you're from Alvaton, and you're reading this…I love you!

My Church Family is Awesome :)

At the end of each sermon/lesson at church, there's always an invitation given. Which basically means that whoever spoke encourages whomever to come forward if they need prayers, or want to be baptized.

On Wednesday nights at Alvaton, this man always speaks and gives the lesson. I love the way he gives lessons. He always takes a story from something he's seen/heard/saw/experienced. He always tells this story, and draws this spiritual connection, and they all really stick with me. Well, this last week, on Wednesday night, he told a story about when his daughter was little. He talked about how they bought a swingset with a slide to put in their yard.

The first time she went up to the ladder, she looked up, got really scared, and asked him to lift her up to the top. So he did, then he went around to the front of the slide, and then he held onto her as she slid down, because she was so scared. This went on, each time giving her more freedom, because she got less and less scared. Eventually, she told him to get out of the way, and she slid down by herself.

While I listened to this, I was thinking about how growing up, I've always felt scared to do things on my own. I always wanted to have a friend with me when I went places, and things like that. And I thought about how crazy it is that I'm going to AIM. I thought about how gaining courage has really been a bunch of baby steps for me. There have been times in my life when I've needed people to hold me, and times when I've needed people to hold my hands. But, doing this, going to AIM, is like letting go of all of the people who have done that for me.

Now, it's not like they're just going away for good, just that I'm leaving all of them behind. I'm not gonna have them there to hold my hand, or carry me. It's time for me to be a big girl (or "adult" as some people like to say) and do something on my own.

When the invitation was given, I decided that tonight was the right time for me to go forward and ask for prayers about AIM. I had decided a couple weeks ago that I was gonna, I just hadn't decided when yet. But the story really resonated with me, and it really hit me in a big way how soon it is that I'm leaving. I was sitting by Ryan and Melinda, so I had to get across them and go to the front.

Here's something that I really, really love about my youth group: when one of us goes forward, everyone goes with them. It's a really nice feeling, not being alone when you go forward. When you do, you feel really vulnerable, and having all of them with you makes you feel loved, and supported. Anyways. I went up and sat down and Ryan sat down beside me, and Taylor/Morgan sat down on the other side of me. Ryan asked what was going on and talked to me a little bit about AIM and all the things I was nervous about, etc. When Ryan got up to tell everyone what was going on, Justin sat down on the other side of me.

After Ryan got done telling people what I had come forward for, they all prayed for me, and then came and gave me hugs. It's so nice to feel so much love and support.

This one man, Darryl, said to me "I know you, and how you are. If you can't do this, then no one can." And that just meant so much to me, because I like to think of myself as a fighter, and it made me feel really good to have someone else say it, too.

I just really love the church family that God gave me to grow up with, and I'm never going to stop being grateful to them for being good Christian examples, for loving me, and for being the one and only constant that I had, at a lot of times. I each and every one of them very much, and leaving them is going to be the hardest of all. I'm so glad to know that they all support me, and have got my back.

God is good, and I'm so glad that He takes care of me. :) I'm just feeling really good.

(Oh, on a really happy note: A friend of mine got baptized tonight! Yay!)