Kentucky

So, I’ve been going through some really tough stuff the last few days. And it's causing me to really miss home, and miss my friends and family there. I miss things that I never thought I would miss. Or, wouldn’t have expected to miss this much.

I miss marching band. I knew I would miss marching band, I did. But every Saturday when I see people post about their competition and how good they did or didn’t do, I find myself really missing it. I really miss the performance aspect of it. There’s something about getting in front of a crowd and playing something that you’ve worked really hard on, and getting to hear them cheer for you. It’s an adrenaline rush, for sure. I miss the way I felt whenever the crowd cheered when we did something cool. I miss the marimba that I played, and I don’t even care if that sounds weird. I miss the bus rides, when we would all hang out and just spend time together talking, laughing, and being silly. I miss the prayer that Mr. Morrison would say before we went out and performed. Most of all, though, I miss playing music on such a regular basis. I miss the learning process, and how you’re never good enough to just stop working on a particular part of the music. I even miss the frustrations that came with learning music, because the reward when I finally figured out a part was so great. I miss my marching band family a lot.

I miss Mitch and Kaitlin…I miss all of our silly times. I miss doing stupid things, and them laughing at me for it. I knew they were never really laughing at me out of meanness, but because they thought I was being funny. I miss Mitch’s peeled banana colored hair, and how soft it is. I miss hugging Kaitlin, because she couldn’t stand it. I miss having Mrs. Laughter and Mr. Moore with Kaitlin. I miss lunch time and how much we all laughed. I miss whenever Kaitlin would make me laugh so hard that my legs would give out, because she’s just that funny. I miss free days in band, just sitting with the two of them and being silly. I miss them so much it makes me wanna cry sometimes. It’s those times that I’m grateful for our group messages, and being able to talk to both of them at the same time.

I miss GADS. The donuts in Lubbock aren’t even close to matching up, even though there’s a Krispy Kreme here. GADS > all other donuts in the world. I really miss “Donuts after Dark” with Taylor…and everyone else. GADS is definitely the best in the middle of the night.

I miss trees. Especially right now, when the leaves are starting to change. I miss being able to look at all of them as they changed and marveling at God’s complexity. I miss green in general. Lubbock doesn’t have very much of that. And, yes, there is a certain beauty of it all, because there is so much sky, and the vastness is incredible. But, I miss my KY and how green everything is.

Ok, confession time…I sometimes miss how humid Kentucky can be. Texas is so dry, which isn’t always a bad thing, but I’m seriously thirsty all the time. Also, I’m quickly developing a chap stick addiction like nobody’s business. My lips, skin, mouth, scalp, hands and feet are all so so so dry right now. I constantly feel like I need lotion. Ok, that’s all I have to say about missing humidity.

I miss Alvaton. I miss listening to Richard Perry speak on Wednesdays. I miss his lessons, and how he always tells a story and then connects it to something spiritual. He’s so relatable. I miss Randy Well’s preaching and how I always learn so much when I listen to him. I miss Ryan and Melinda. SOOO much. I always knew they were two of the biggest influences and supporters in my life, but now more than ever I realize how much they’ve meant to me over the last four years. I miss Elsie. If I talk more about that I’ll cry or something. But I do miss that girl. So much. I miss Abby, and our Team Cray good times, our Kroger runs and drunk guys giving us advice on which socks to buy. All I have to say is: Talaypot FOREVER. I miss Angel Ann, and how she was such a good listener, and how talking things out with her could always make me feel better. I miss Sydney, and I miss sitting by her every Wednesday night. Her smile always brightens my day. I miss Justin, Arkadiy, Ruslan, Andrew and Ethan and the languages and different words they all made up. I miss Taylor and Taylor (or Morgan) and how we never knew who was getting talked to. I miss so much about church, and youth group, and everything else, that I could do a whole blog post on that by itself. (Hey, I just wanna throw in here that if you read this, and you wanna pray for my youth group and all the people in it that would be awesome and really helpful!)

I miss my dad. The distance between Texas and Kentucky has made us closer, so I’m anxious to see him in person and hang out.

I miss my little brother. I  miss how much I would get on his nerves by trying to talk to him when he was playing video games, but then as soon as I started watching something on Netflix or doing something else, he wanted to talk. That kid is crazy. I miss being silly with him, and hanging out. Going to Wal Mart, or just going for a drive. I just miss my little brother, and it’s weird that he’s not so little anymore.

I miss my momma. A lot. Notice how that’s bold, underlined, and italicized? That’s because my momma is one of my best friends in the whole world, and I miss being around her all the time. I miss running errands with her. That was always our time together, since Gabe never wanted to go. It wasn’t like we ever did anything special during those times, but there was just something really enjoyable about going out and about with my momma, getting to just talk and relax. I’ve especially missed her since all of the fall tv shows have come out. I miss spending weeknights watching Dancing With The Stars, and The X Factor with her. I miss talking about who we liked and didn’t like, criticizing and complementing how each performance was. I mostly just miss talking to her. Sitting down and having a conversation with her about what was going on in life, my past, her past, the future. Everything.

I guess homesickness is setting in, and it’s been hard for me to deal with. I’m just glad that we’ll be in Kentucky in a couple weeks, and I’ll get to see my mom! Yay! I love Kentucky, and it’s my home. The place of my childhood, and, for now, the place that holds my heart. I love it, I love its people. I’m gonna cry if I write more. But I just wanted to share some of my homesickness, and talk about how much I miss everything.

09-13 :)

Lately, I suppose because so many things are changing, I've been feeling nostalgic. So I thought I'd go through old Facebook pictures. I decided that it might be fun to put them all together in one place and kind of reflect on the last 4 years. This will definitely be long, but I'm so beyond caring. I'm enjoying it.

FRESHMAN: '09-'10

Ok, there aren't a ton of pictures from Freshman year, because I was really awkward and didn't like to be in pictures so much. But here are the few that I do have.

Freshman year, I was introduced to marching band...and I kind of fell in love. It was just like this whole new world opened up and I really just loved it. This is my friend Erin and I, I guess at band camp (because the school is cold, so we wore sweats in the afternoon, I guess.) Also, take note of my douchebag sweatshirt. I made interesting fashion choices when I was a young'un.

Leadership retreat 2010 happened to be our first ever youth trip with Ryan, which was pretty awesome. Jumping pictures were pretty popular during this time, and continued to be a hot trend through the rest of high school...let's just say, I have a lot of jumping pictures from high school. I don't know why we thought they were so cool...

INDOOR. Ok, if marching band was like falling in love, indoor was 1000x more intense than that. I love love love indoor drumline. Like, the music aspect is there, which is awesome. But with indoor comes a whole new level of performance, which is lots of fun. (BTW, our show freshman year was called "Pop" and it was basically everything from pop music to pepsi...)

I WENT TO DISNEY WORLD. IT WAS AWESOME. THAT IS ALL.

SUMMER '10

Summer 2010 was, as I like to say, the best, most life changing summer of my life. I found God, and happiness. I remembered what love was, and all kinds of other wonderful things. I could go on and on.

Uplift at Harding is the best. And our youth group shirts are pretty cool, too. (I'm actually wearing mine as I type this...weird.)

 I got baptized. Best day of my life. Never looking back, either.

SOPHOMORE: '10-'11

Marching band 2010. Carnival of the Animals. The music was awesome. The concept was awesome. We kicked butt.

Read Dateable with the youth group, and learned the importance of holding on to your candy bar. (Babe Ruth...one heck of a candy bar...)

New Year's lock-ins are always fun. This was my team, we called ourselves the Little Monsters because Lady Gaga is a cool chick, and also our youth minister does not like her, which made it all the more fun.

Leadership Retreat '11. Tons 'O Fun

 

I got my permit, and quickly learned what a terrible teacher my mother is...(love you, mom.)

Indoor 2011 was truly a life changing experience. It's not something that I told a whole lot of people about, but when we did Nevermore, and I learned how to play marimba, it really awakened my determinated spirit, and it gave me all kinds of self confidence that I didn't have before.

SRT 2011... We did service work, and then went to the World of Coke, and did touristy stuff in Chicago...

I rode a train for the first time. :)

SUMMER '11

Me and my "man"...this became a joke throughout the whole summer. Eventually, all the other girls got "men" too and we went on dates...this was especially fun at church camp...

Church camp 2011...all I can say is awesome! The senior girls cabin (which I got to stay in, even though I was only a sophomore...) had a window that was right next to the boy's bathroom. So, at night, when the guys were going to shower and stuff, we would just open our window and talk to them as they were going in and coming out. And, because at this point we all had our "men" it was even more interesting. I've seriously never laughed so hard in my whole entire life. I have so many stories I could tell from that week alone that it's not even funny.

JUNIOR YEAR: '11-'12

The pictures from this year are kind of all over the place, which is weird. But there are really random spans of time between them. I'm not sorry. ;)

Marching band 2011, "What's Out There". This was a really interesting show concept, but it was unfortunate because the judges didn't really like it. It kinda sucked, because it was like no matter how well we did they weren't pleased. But it was a fun show to do, and I think that's all that matters in the end.

Fall retreat 2011 was kind of boring. It was something new that we tried, with all kinds of people that we didn't know and stuff like that. It was kind of a let down. However, I did bring a pair of pants that was somehow big enough for four of us. They almost ripped, which would have been really unfortunate. But we ended up figuring out a way to walk in them without them ripping, so all was good there. I laughed so hard during this, and it made for a couple really funny pictures.

Our first youth group thanksgiving at Ryan and Melinda's house. Basically, we just went over there and they made thanksgiving dinner for us. The first thanksgiving they'd ever cooked. It was really awesome to sit around with my best friends, and talk about things that we were grateful for and stuff. And, you know, good food is good food.  

CYC was really fun. We went to Gatlinburg, stayed in a cabin, and had lots of other fun. I love Gatlinburg, and I loved all the other fun things that go along with a fun trip like that. Our cabin even had a swimming pool built in on the bottom floor.

Indoor '12. "The Race"...the show concept was literally all about this guy who was running a race. We played tons of popular songs, such as Flight of the Bumblebee, Black & Yellow, and We Are The Champions...it was fun to perform, but I tend to like darker shows rather than the ones where you have to be all happy and bouncy. Intense is fun.

SRT 2012 was fun. This picture makes me smile, because the only reason Brennen is hugging me is because he lost a bet. It makes me laugh a lot, because under normal circumstances, he doesn't hug me. It's so rare, but it's caught on camera.



OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUYS. This is where Remember The Titans was filmed. Seriously, it's so beautiful on this college campus. I'd totally go to school there, if it wasn't for the fact that it costs a lot of money. More than your average college education. Which, as we all know, ain't so cheap itself.

SUMMER '12

Oddly enough, this is probably the section where I have the most pictures. But, as my phone got reset, I don't have them anymore. They're all on hard copy, and stuff. So they can't go here. It's unfortunate.

Summer camp 2012. This year was a bit different because we didn't go to the place we'd been going to forever. We decided this year that we would go to Taylor Christian Camp with some other churches. None of us were very happy with this, and it wasn't something that was kind of a sore subject. The week had a lot of bad qualities, but it had good ones at the same time. Good thing: several people got baptized. Bad thing: there were a lot of harsh rules and rigidity.

SENIOR (!!!!) '12-'13

AHHHHH! Finally. Unfortunately, I don't have, like, any pictures from the first semester of Senior year. So these are basically all pictures from the spring semester of senior year.

We started having a girl's night in youth group. It's fun to go and hang out, just the girls. Also, isn't Elsie the most presh?

CYC and staying in Gatlinburg...beautiful and fun as always. :) I especially enjoy sitting in the hot tub and looking out at the mountains, having girl talk. Something really special happened on this trip. One night, the girls were upstairs before lights out, and we all decided to have prayer time. I really like to pray, and it was awesome that they asked me to pray for all of us. They all gave me prayer requests, and I prayed and it was incredible. I could really feel that all of us just opened our hearts in that moment, and we were all connected and we truly felt for each other. I just felt so surrounded by love. It was the best. I loved it a lot more than I can explain.

Y'all...I flew to Texas. All by myself. It was so scary, and incredible, and so many other things. I enjoyed my time there so much, and it was a week that I'll for sure never forget. I can't wait to go back to Texas in the fall...this time to live. You all have no idea how awesome that sounds to me. I can't even explain. :)

NEW YORK CITY. I already talked about that, but it was important, so I obviously included it. (P.S. TEAM NONIE!)

My last ever Lads To Leaders...you all can't even understand how bittersweet that is. But, anyway, Angel Ann, Sydney, and I did a then and now picture from when we were younger to then. It was lots of fun and I really love this picture. However, this is the trip where I got the Norovirus. Basically, the Norovirus is death. At least, it made me want to die. I was just so sick, it was terrible. And it's DISGUSTING. Anyway, I love Lads To Leaders, and it makes me want to cry, thinking about how last time was my last time ever. So sad.

Ok, this wasn't really an important event, but this IS an important girl. I love Elsie so much, you guys, and I'm SO glad that she's part of my life. Her Elsie smile just brightens my day whenever I'm around her.

I've already talked about senior banquet, but I love this guy, and this picture. This, my friends, is Taylor Morgan Clary. <3

Had anti-prom with Kaitlin and Courtney. It was lots of fun, and I'll never forget going out to dinner then then taking pictures on the square with them. I laughed so hard, especially when this guy scared Kaitlin. But that's another story for a different day...

Prom. You know how it is.

I LOVE MITCHELL CORDER AND I'M GONNA MISS HIM SO MUCH. This was "field day" though...my last one ever, hallelujah.

Band banquet. The last one I'll ever be a part of. As a senior, we got to give speeches and stuff like that. it was really cool. This is a really excellent picture. I have so much respect for this man, and he just means so much to me. He came into my life at a very crucial time. I didn't really have a father figure, and he was a huge aide in reminding me that not all men completely suck. I love Mr. Morrison so much.

This picture kind of stinks, but whatever. I had my last ever band concert. It's so unreal to me that I'll never play with the Greenwood band again. It's bittersweet. However, at the concert, we played movie night pieces, and basically, I ruined a song. We were playing music from The Hobbit, and I had a part that required sever different instruments. I somehow managed to knock EVERYTHING over in the middle of a sad, serious part. It was loud, and obnoxious, and everyone knew it was me. Embarrassing. Oh well, I'll own it. I will for sure miss band, though. It's probably the only thing I'm going to miss from high school.

Graduation practice was an interesting experience. It was really boring and it felt totally pointless. This guy sat behind me, and he would just say all these completely random things that were obviously lies. They were funny, though. So oh well.

I graduated. And that's the end.

 Needless to say, while high school hasn't been the best, I have had some really, really, fun times. :)

I can't wait to see what the rest of my life holds...

Deuces, Spring!

2013, thus far, has been SO exciting. I've experienced so many new things it's not even funny. I caught the Norovirus, I went to New York City, I went to prom, and I graduated...just to name a few. (Not to mention I'm typing this on my brand new laptop--my first big "adult" purchase, might I add. :)

Here are just a few of the pictures that have been taken throughout all these exciting things...

Ok, this wasn't the beginning of the year, but this was in February. This is one of my best friends, Sydney, and I. We were staying in a cabin in Gatlinburg, TN for the weekend to go to Challenge Youth Conference. It was a really exciting time, and Gatlinburg was beautiful, of course...it always is.

The Service Road Trip, which the youth group goes on every spring break, was incredible of course. It started out with almost half of the group getting sick, so that sucked. But it at least semi redeemed itself. We worked in Tinton, NJ on Sandy Relief. We worked at lots where houses had been torn down. We went through all the dirt looking for trash or other various things. We found some stuff that made us really sad, like baby clothes, and even a teddy bear. It was heartbreaking to see all the devastation, but it was nice to know that we really made a difference.

WE WENT TO NEW YORK CITY!!! I'm not gonna lie, NYC was awesome. I'd LOVE to live there some day. In fact, my friend Angel Ann and I decided that we're gonna move there and run the world some day, because someone once told us that if we'd tag team we'd rule the whole world...which, thinking about it is probably pretty true--ha. Anyway. New York City is gross and disgusting, and there are tons of people, but it somehow works for them. I wouldn't change it at all. (The bottom picture is from our night time bus tour...and I may or may not be tearing up because it was so freaking beautiful...)

The senior banquet. The senior banquet is something that I'd always been part of the waitstaff at. It was something that I'd always known I was gonna be a part of some day, but I'd never thought about it actually happening. It was a really beautiful night. We had dinner that was made by this excellent caterer, and was served by the younger youth group members (which was really weird, by the way). Then, it was time for the parents to give their speeches. This is always a really emotional part of the senior banquet, and I always cry for everyone. My mom's speech was definitely no exception. She gave a beautiful speech and talked about the different things that I'd taught her throughout the last 18 years. Then, we got gifts, which is always awesome. It was one of those nights that you could talk forever about and still not run out of good things to say. I feel so blessed to have my church family by my side through thick and thin, and I'm really grateful to them for putting the whole thing together.

Prom was...an experience. Getting dressed up, doing my hair, and putting on make up is not really something that I'm totally comfortable with, but I did it because I figured if not for prom, when? But prom ended up being a not so great experience. For a lot of reasons that I won't go into, but a lot of things just kept going wrong, and, if I'm being totally honest, that whole day was kind of a bust. Regardless, I look freaking awesome, so I had to put a picture in here. ;)

Y'all...I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL. It still doesn't feel real, yet. But it just happened last night...I'm sure it will sink it eventually. But, graduation, all in all, was a really good experience. Some of my closest family and friends all came over to my house for a little while before the actual ceremony, because it was so late in the evening. Then, the actual graduation part happened. Which was pretty boring, as graduations usually are. But, the most surreal thing happened...when they asked us to move our tassels and turn our stoles, I had kind of an out-of-body experience. I just remember thinking "I can't believe this is happening. This can't be real." and then I threw my cap and hugged my friend Alex, who was sitting next to me, and went to find my family, and Ryan and Melinda, of course. We took some pictures...the one on the bottom is my favorite picture of Elsie and I to date...which pretty much makes it my favorite picture. I love that little girl, and I love my mom, and I love Ryan and Melinda, and all the rest of my family. I just love that everyone was there to support me. I still don't feel like it's real. But I'm sure it'll sink in eventually.

Peace out spring, it's really been nice knowing ya. Here's to an excellent summer. I just hope it lasts long enough for me to enjoy it, before I have to bid farewell to old Kentucky. I really love my life right now, in case it wasn't obvious. So, I'll close out with a quote that I really love from "Blessings for Graduates", a book someone gave me yesterday...

"It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them." -George Eliot